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教你修改开发信（一）

跨境电商与创业文摘

2022-08-27

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导读：案例（一）修改前Re: New Energy Saving Iron( 或者其他)Dear Smith,Le

案例（一）

修改前

Re: New Energy Saving Iron( 或者其他)

Dear Smith,

Leading companies such as XXXX, now use XXX as their reliable supplier for XXＸ products.

For a cost equating to XXX, your customers will be able to save energy cost by %.

The remarkable XXXX Iron uses (工艺) to:

和客户相关的成果1

和客户相关的成果2

和客户相关的成果3

To test XXX’s effectiveness, you can arrange a free no-obligation trial now, by just replying this email. We will reply you immediately to arrange it.

Best regards,

XXX

修改后

一般简短的开发信三段就够了，

第一段，我能给你带来什么好处，你为何要看这封开发信？

第二段，你为什么要相信我？

第三段，接下来咱们怎么进展？

要让文字背后是思想，所以这三个问题，你自己一定得要想清楚，然后用最简洁有力的语言把它说出来，这样你的开发信就有力度了。否则，没有内涵，再美的语言都是浮华不实的句子堆砌。

Re: Saving your purchasing cost for quality XXXX

Dear John,

When you next consider your arrangements for XXX products, I would welcome the opportunity to understand your requirements and situation.

Our customer include (XXX,XXX), who have found our XXX is superior in quality while saving them % cost from working with us.

I will send you more detailed information regarding this product in another email. When you receive it, can you please email me your requirement for this product?

Best regards,

XXX

这个标题的切入点很重要，针对不同类型的客户，这个关注点是不同的。比如小企业主，你可以和他说，帮他赚钱，但对于一个职业采购经理，他对这个兴趣就不大，他的职责是帮公司省钱，省了钱就有功劳有奖金，所以你说可以帮你省钱，他会更关注。

零售商，批发商，网店等各类不同的客户，他们如何运营他们的生意，业务员最好能有所了解。比如，一个大超市，他们的货架对于他们来说是最值钱的东西，他要求货品不仅要价格便宜，而且还要有很大的市场。一个产品上架需要一年甚至更多时间，你如果用一个临时促销活动的低价去吸引他，肯定不灵光的。

案例（二）

修改前

Dear **

Glad to know you from your website,that you are the leading company in Japan for machine vision system.

This is ***company here.I am sure we are the right one for you to seek vision solution, Industry information,customizing products on your request.

Maybe we can help you to save at least 10% cost saving with more high quality service.

Some of our new models,such as Machine vision Lens/ Bi-Telecentric Lens /HD XGA Industrial Cameras,have a bright market at home and abroad.

Could you please do me a favor to tell me what items are more salable for you?

Best regards,

Ling

点评

Glad to know you from your website,that you are the leading company in Japan for machine vision system. （后面再追一句概述他的业务性质，特色等的话，表示你对他们慎重研究了。比如：I just notice that you pay much attention to lower your cost for quality machine vision system. )

This is ***company here. （这句话有些生硬，过渡不自然，缺少人情味。May I introduce myself to you ? I am XXX, from XXXX. 这样会更人情味点。） I am sure we are the right one for you to seek vision solution, Industry information,customizing products on your request.（这后面一句太突然，没有过渡。）

Maybe (这个词没有力度，不自信，犹豫不肯定） we can help you to save at least 10% cost saving with more high quality service.

Some of our new models,such as Machine vision Lens/ Bi-Telecentric Lens /HD XGA Industrial Cameras,have a bright （有点歧义，不如就用good,注意用最简单的英语，日本人英语不好。） market at home and abroad.

Could you please do me a favor to tell me what items are more salable for you? （这句有点突然。）

修改后

Dear XXX,

Good morning!

I am very glad to know you from your professional website, you are the leading company in Japan for machine vision system. I also notice that you pay much attention to lower your cost for quality machine vision system. That is where I can be of help.

May I introduce myself to you? I am XXX, from XXXX. We have been in machine vision system industry for more than XXX years. I am confident that we are capable to meet your quality standard, while cutting your cost by at least 10%. Please be sure, we are also very capable to custom produce with your drawings.

To enable you to evaluate our quality, may I invite you to visit our factory?(或者：may I send you a sample?)

Best regards,

XXXX

由于实际情况不一样，不一定就合用，贴这个例子，是希望大家通过对实际案例的运用，来了解开发信应该如何写，只看理论会让人有点迷糊。

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